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Contagious (Computer Virus) Humor

  • JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS: deletes all old files.
  • MIKE TYSON VIRUS: quits after one byte.
  • LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS: reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 floppy then discards through the window.
  • LEWINSKY VIRUS: sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
  • RONALD REAGAN VIRUS: saves your data, but forgets what it stored.
  • VIAGRA VIRUS: makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
  • OPHRA WINFREY VIRUS: your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.
  • ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS: disks can no longer be inserted.
  • DISNEY VIRUS: everything on your computer goes Goofey.
  • PROZAC VIRUS: screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.
  • ARNOLD VIRUS: terminates some files, leaves, but it'll be back.

Technology for Country Folks...


MORE COUNTRY HUMOR...

Emily Sue Fell off the house and Bubba called 911.
The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said,
"How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"


A LETTER TO A SON...

Dear Son;
I'm writing this slow cause I no u cant read fast. We dont liv where we did when u left, We read in the paper where most accidents happen close to where u liv, so we moved.
I caint send u our new address, cause the people who lived here took it with them so they wont hav to change their address. This place even has a washing machine; The first time I used it, I put four shirts in it and pulled the chain, and I aint seen em since. It rained 2 times this week, 3 days the first time and 4 days the second time.
About the coat you wanted, your ant Sue said it would be to heavy with them big buttons on it, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got a dun from the funeral home, said if we didnt make another payment on your gran pas funeral, up he comes!
Your Pa has a good new job. He has over 500 people under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetery. Your sister had a new baby. I didnt find out if it was a boy or a girl, so I dont know if you are a ant or a uncle. Your uncle John fell in a whisky vat the distillery. Some of the men tried to pull him out, But he fought them off and finally drounded. We had him cremated, He burned for 3 days.
3 of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck, one was driving The other 2 was in the back. the driver got out, he rolled down the window and swum out. The other 2 drounded, they couldnt get the tail gate down. Not any more news, so by.

Lov Mommy
PS I was going to send you a few dollars, but I had already licked the envelope when I thought about it.



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